If you suffer from anxiety and worry a lot, there are a number of ways you can exercise control over of this. The main ways are summarised below.

De-stress your thinking 

An individual’s feeling of being stressed is, in large measure, determined by the way he or she thinks. As a consequence of this, approaches to managing stress and anxiety have been developed, which operate by modifying an individual’s thinking processes.

Several common forms of irrational or distorted ways of thinking that can be stress producers include:

I-can’t-stand-it-itis e.g. “I can’t stand it when I’m in the queue at the supermarket and the cashier goes away to check a price.”

‘Always and never’ thinking e.g. “I’m always the last person to be served at the bar” or “I’m always in the slowest queue in the supermarket.”

Awfulising – An awfuliser always expects the worst e.g. “This traffic is awful. It’ll never ease off. I’ll be stuck here forever.”

Labelling – When you make a mistake, rather than simply acknowledging the mistake, you label yourself by saying something like “I’m useless.”

Shoulding – This involves thinking ‘should thoughts’ e.g. “I should be a better golfer” or “He should be better mannered.”

Mind reading – This involves assuming that somebody is reacting negatively to you without actually checking it out. For example, you see a friend in the street and he doesn’t acknowledge your presence. You say to yourself “I must have upset him for some reason.” The reality may be that your friend may not be wearing his contact lenses and he just didn’t recognise you.

Fortune telling – This involves predicting that things will turn out negatively e.g. “My day started badly. The rest of my day will be just as bad.”

In order to correct irrational or distorted thinking that results in stress and anxiety, you need to become aware of your negative or unhealthy self talk. Suggestions for correcting distorted or irrational thinking include:

Practise listening to your self-talk

Practise listening to your self-talk when you’re feeling stressed. This requires considerable effort, as we don’t tend to listen to our internal monologues when we’re stressed.

Monitor your thoughts

Monitor your thoughts for signs of irrational beliefs or distorted thinking and consciously dispute these with more rational ‘self-talk’.

Distorted information processing?

Check if you are processing information in a distorted manner e.g. are you awfulising or engaging in ‘always and never’ thinking? Are you exaggerating the seriousness of a situation or focussing narrowly on a single detail without considering its wider context?

Having examined your thinking for distortions that may be contributing to your stress, take another look at the actual situation/event and strive for a more objective understanding of it.

Choose an alternative explanation that is less stressful than your original one, and keep this explanation in mind whenever you recall the situation/event.

Other ways to exercise control 

Focus on your breathing

Focussing on your breathing can help dispel your irrational thoughts. Recognise that they are ‘only thoughts’, and let them drift away, as you bring your attention back to the flow of your breath. As you breathe in, imagine peace and calm coming into your body. As you breathe out imagine that the air you breathe out carries away tension and anxiety. As you breathe in you could say to yourself “Breathing in peace and calm.” As you exhale, you could say to yourself: “Breathing out tension and anxiety.”

Focus on the present moment

Remember that the vast majority of your past worries didn’t happen! Focus on what’s going on right now. Stay completely in the present moment. It is after all, the only moment that is real and over which you have some sense of personal control. You can’t control the two things you worry about most – the past and the future. Worry is almost always future-oriented and past conditioned. This explains why practising ‘mindfulness’ can be so helpful. With mindfulness you focus on what’s going on right now in the present moment, not in the future or the past.

Never worry alone

Talk to a friend, your spouse or a colleague. Simply talking about your worry and ‘getting it out’ enables you to feel more in control and less vulnerable.

Get the facts

Toxic worry is a disease of the imagination. A good way to combat the imagination is to get the facts. For example, if you’re worried about a mole on your body, then tell your spouse or partner (never worry alone) and then arrange to see a dermatologist (get the facts).

Learn to solve problems and make a plan

Most worriers jump from one topic to another without reaching any solutions. In order to reduce uncertainty, think about exactly what you would do if the worst possible scenario occurred i.e. have a plan. Keep bringing your focus back to your plan when you begin to worry. If necessary put your plan into action. Even if your plan isn’t going to work, you will feel more in control and less vulnerable.

Make sure you get enough sleep

For the majority of people this would be from 7 to 8 hours per night.

Eat a balanced diet

Don’t use food as an anti-anxiety medication.

Take regular physical exercise

Exercise is a good anti-worry agent and it’s good for your sense of well-being. Physical activity dissipates energy that you unnecessarily pour into stressful thoughts. It also raises the neurotransmitters that, when too low, contribute to anxiety. Just going for a long walk each day can be sufficient to keep stress levels under control.

Let it go

Holding on to worry is bad for you. Let it go!

Maintain your support system

This includes family, friends, hobbies, and community involvement.

Enjoy humour

Humour restores perspective and is a great antidote to worry.

Avoid alcohol/substance abuse

Some individuals may attempt to manage their stress by using alcohol or drugs. This type of ‘self medication’ can provide temporary relief, but ultimately it is self-defeating. It can result in the individual having more stress in their life than ever before, but they will have even less ability to handle it.

Get enough sunshine

Get outdoors, particularly when it’s a sunny day. Being in sunlight boosts mood and lowers stress. Because vitamin D is thought to benefit the body and enhance the mood, natural sunlight can be linked to stress relief. The serotonin levels (the chemical responsible for mood elevation in the brain) are increased in the presence of the sun, so increased moods can be a result of being outdoors during daytime hours.

Listen to music

Listening to music can have a very relaxing effect on our minds and bodies, especially slow, quiet classical music. This type of music can have a beneficial effect on our physiological functions, slowing the pulse and heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and decreasing the levels of stress hormones.

Promote the human moment

This can be done simply by sitting down and talking with people instead of sending e-mails, text messages, etc.

Limit the time you spend on on-line

By spending too much time on-line, you can lose your connections with other people.

Write it down

If you’re lying awake at night worrying about something, then write it down to deal with in the morning and then go to sleep.

If you would like to read one of my articles on managing worry and anxiety, and/or counteracting stress, you may do so via the following links.

Click here for an article I wrote on managing worry and anxiety (see page 22)

Click here for an article I wrote on counteracting stress (see page 24).

Buteyko Breathing Clinics (Dublin and County Wicklow)